"Interdependence is mutual dependence between things. If you study biology, you’ll discover that there is a great deal of interdependence between plants and animals.

Inter- means "between," so interdependence is dependence between things. We often use interdependence to describe complex systems. Marriage creates a state of interdependence between spouses. If your dog provides you with love and happiness, and you provide your dog with food and walks (and love and happiness), then your relationship with your dog is one of interdependence." -Definition

As I am both a newlywed and a lover for learning about the inner workings of people and relationships, I have been doing a lot of digging on the foundations of marriage. 

I have been reading a lot of good Christian books on building and praying for healthy marriages. These books have been very helpful and insightful. Here are a few of them I would recommend. "Pray Big for your Marriage" by Will Davis Jr,  "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, and "Love and Respect" by Dr.Emerson Eggerichs. All of these books are similar to each other, yet key in on different specifics to build a relationship that helps nurture a stable and biblical marriage. However, reading through God's word I found two simple principled summarizing all the books I have read, marriage, and every other relationship in general! 

First and foremost we are born again Christians, which means we are dependent on the Holy Spirit to work in our lives and make us more like Christ. Without this dependence and relationship with out Lord will can do NO good thing. Trying to focus on a marriage is futile if you cannot build your marriage according to God's principles which you can only utilize by the help of His Spirit in your life. 

Just as we are completely and utterly dependent on the Holy Spirit, God gives us instruction to be interdependent on fellow believers (and yes our spouses;). This might be a hard pill to swallow since we are all raised in "American Pride" surrounded by people trying to prove their independence to the world. We live in an "I" culture not a "we" mentality. We have feminists putting up fights because they don't need men to conquer the world, they can do it just fine on their own. We have men, struggling to keep up with the dominant  He-women, trying to prove their masculinity and worth. What a big mess! This is the canvas we are starting with to build our societies and relationships. This mentality affects us whether we believe in it or not. It is everywhere and it creeps into our minds slowly but surely. 


But the Bible teaches us something very different. 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 says about interdependence. "¹² For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. ¹³ For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves^[d] or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.¹⁴ For the body does not consist of one member but of many. ¹⁵ If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. ¹⁶ And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. ¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? ¹⁸ But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. ¹⁹ If all were a single member, where would the body be? ²⁰ As it is, there are many parts,^[e] yet one body.²¹ The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” ²² On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³ and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, ²⁴ which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, ²⁵ that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. ²⁶ If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.<sup>27"


What is more important to us then our very own bodies!? We do anything to keep ourselves from feeling pain, we baby and protect ourselves and spare no measure in guarding our safety. We are to view our fellow believers as part of our very own body! We need each and every part to survive. This is the picture this passage is painting! We NEED each other. We are interdependent on each other.


Here is one more passage. Romans 12:3-8"</sup>

"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ⁴ For as in one body we have many members,^[a] and the members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. ⁶ Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; ⁷ if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; ⁸ the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads,^[b] with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness."

It is very clear that we all have different personalities, purposes, and gifts given to us by our Lord. But God wants us to be so interdependent on each other that we work together for the glory of God as one unit. This is how marriage should look. Two very different people loving each other and needing each other just as they need their very own heart to pump blood into their veins to survive. 

The amazing thing in both of these scripture verses is, if you follow through and keep reading in both it continues to talk about real love. Romans 12:9 and 1 Corinthians 13. A love that is pure and selfless. So combine life-supporting need for the person you have married and a selfless love....Are you getting the picture yet? This would be a beautiful arrangement! An arrangement designed by God.

Sadly a lot of the women I talk to today, tell me how they don't need their husbands, they want to keep all their belongings and finances separate (just in case). They NEED their independence. They NEED their jobs to get out of the house. They are missing a beautiful thing. God designed us to need each other and live in grace and love which not only builds a strong marriage but ultimately brings glory to God.